i have dream, but not enough qi to fullfill

so many thing planed to do in these days. The deadline is today or tomorrow. I am blocked by writing a reserch plan. So dispressed to find I can't write the plan with an acdemic level. I have been long away from scientific reserch for about 3 years since graduation.

I am so common a woman, not as I thought before, not sart, not extraordinary.

I had the dream to be out. the dream is linked to a man, the man is linked to a period time  of happiness, the happiness excied my love of life, my tender to deal with others, my intelligence to work hard.

Hard work for several weeks for sveral goals, but results in nothing done thoughtfully.

The deadline is coming. I realized I am only a common woman, can't achieve success in the competation. Need long time good preparation. I am common. The man I like is also common. Differenent country lead to different life, I can not come through the gap. let the past pass away as time pass away. No past, no future. enjoy the now.

Say thank to myself, give myself a hug. A friend told me. I can feel quite and happy inside when apprieate and hug myself. But I am so common can't fullfil my dreams, what I thank Zong? I thank zong to realize I am so common.   I am common, the dreams don't fill me. I am common, tahnk myself to know my common. I am common, no dream, I set my heart down to breast from head or throat. I thank zong to realize I am common, set my heart quite with no hope and worry about future and dreams.